Why is it that our family is so bad at communicating with each other? When my parents speak to each other, it's like they are speaking in different languages and just can't seem to understand each other. on the other hand, when they speak to someone elese they know perfectly well what the other spouse is saying to the third party..... uugghhh... are all families dysfunctional? If yes, should that prevent me from starting my own? I want to have kids, but I don't want to mess them up... is that inevitable? I know there is no such thing as a perfect person, a perfect marriage or a perfect family.... I know I've got a lot of issues with my own family... nothing I do is ever good enough for my father... oh no... let me not start on this one...
My parents were just here visiting.... I didn't get to see them as much as I had hoped cuz they were busy visiting my dads family who also live here... long story... yada yada yada ..... don't want to go into details... They left last night and I have just been crying and crying.... and today as well.... my eyelids are swollen and I look like I've been hit in the face! :(
There is so much I wanted to say while they were here but just couldn't... and now when they are gone I feel so bad! Why didn't I say something? I know I was trying to avoid a fight with my dad (cuz that's what usually happens when I speak my mind or respond to his "comments" that he sometimes throws left and right... feels better to pretend I didn't hear anything in the first place) (especially after having accepted Islam, I feel like I need to be a better daughter, the parents are always right, I don't want to anger them. Paradise lies under the feet of the mother....but Ya Allah is it difficult sometimes!!)
I know they were not happy with their trip, and neither was I. it just hurts so much that I was not able to satisfy them and make this a trip they will remember in a good way. they have not been here for 4 years, and one of the comments he threw in the air was that he doesn't want to come for another 10 years... cuz he's so disapointed.
The last thing he said to me was: "you're worth so much..... (oh, a compliment I thought!) .... so don't lower yourself! (trying to hint at something that he thinks is going on between my husband and myself.....) If I'm worth so much.... why is it that you always say so many things that makes me feel completely worthles?!?!?!
Yep, I've got daddy-issues..... I'm 28, married, living my own life and I still get upset like a little girl over the things my dad says.... *sigh* will I ever grow up?
